Timeless Classics

 I spent more than an hour this morning, cleaning and organizing a multi-utility wardrobe. This is a long-pending task that I have been procrastinating on for months. After a light breakfast, I got started with the work. The much-needed companion is my favorite 7+ hour Illayaraaja playlist on Spotify. Most of the songs are Raaja classics from the 80s. The seemingly boring task suddenly turned into a refreshing activity, thanks to Raaja's magical tunes and SPB/Chitra/Mano's evergreen voice.

To be honest, in the last 2-3 years, I haven't come across a single soul-stirring tune that I repeatedly listened to. Vendhu Thanindadhu Kaadu (VTK) by ARR was the last album that I enjoyed. Post that, most of the songs are so jarring, unbearable, and migraine-triggering. Sometimes I wonder if the music industry itself has undergone a drastic change or is it that my ability to appreciate new music has gone down. Nevertheless, thanks to 80s Raaja, 90s/2000s/2010s ARR, 2000s Harris, 2000s Yuvan, and 2000s Vidyasagar, we have a precious repertoire of albums and soulful tunes that we can hold on to for years to come!

Book Review: Bad Therapy by Abigail Shrier

One extreme used to say, "Others' feelings are more important than mine",while the other extreme is now loudly declaring, "My feelings are the most important. I don't care about how others feel".

As always, extremes are the reason behind many problems today. Parents are misguided by the so-called parenting Insta experts to be on their guard and keep track of every single feeling and emotion of their child. "So how does that make you feel?" - a therapist-sounding question has now become common parlance among young parents, thanks to "gentle parenting" forums and workshops.

"Bad Therapy - Why the Kids aren't Growing Up" by Abigail Shrier is a much-needed book that gives an important perspective on modern-day parenting. She reiterates multiple times throughout the book that there are certain conditions (bipolar, schizophrenia, chronic depression, etc), where therapy is required and she doesn't deny the value it brings to the table. However, she also points out how it is being misused and the repercussions of it, especially among teenagers.

Though the context and examples are set in the US, urban Indian parents can relate to many of the issues discussed. It was eye-opening (and shocking!) to read about the diagnosis and treatment protocols that are prescribed under the pretext of mental health. Though the title focuses on "therapy", the author provides how the entire ecosystem has been incentivized - schools, therapists, counselors, parenting "gurus" - to quickly diagnose, label and medicate young children and teens. 

She brings up the issue of iatrogenesis - how therapy can make things worse and lists down ten indicators of Bad Therapy with relevant examples. These indicators are evident in the content strategy of many Insta-only psychologists who mint money through expensive courses and workshops.

In this age of social media, she points out the trend to use mental issues as a conversation piece among certain people, in return to gain sympathy and attention and to create an identity with the diagnoses.

The chapters on surveys bring up the negative repercussions of assessments that hunt for data related to mental health and implant new ideas and concerns in the minds of middle and high-school children, which are being circulated in public schools. The author also brings up the issues behind the gentle parenting trend that prevents kids from building resilience and functioning in a community, expecting accommodation and seeking avoidance when a challenge comes forth.

A must-read book for parents. Mental health ailments are supposedly the new pandemic and there is a thriving ecosystem that is pushing this agenda big time among children and teenagers.  

5 factors that disturb the state of mind and how to overcome them

 In a discourse that I attended recently, the speaker shared about five main factors that disturb the state of our mind:

• Giving high importance to oneself (in other words, egoistic)
• Jealousy
• Too many desires
• Dwelling in the past or future that leads to regret, grudges, or worry
• Focusing only on the negatives in the past, present or future

Humility is the antidote to overcoming the feeling of high self-importance.

Feeling a sense of love and genuine happiness for the other person's successes/victories is the antidote to overcoming jealousy that we might feel towards him/her.

Contentment and gratitude are the antidotes to reducing our desires.

Acceptance, letting go, and forgiveness are the antidotes to avoid dwelling in the past.

Having unshakeable trust in the Divine plans and a strong belief that everything will turn out for the good, with a sense of surrender are the antidotes to avoid worrying about the future.

The mind is habituated to tune itself to the negatives that might have happened in the past, happening in the present, or may occur in the future.

Through consistent practice, one can consciously focus on the positives around us and can stay away from sources that feed negativity. 

Integrative Medicine

 In the past 10 days, I had the opportunity to observe and participate in the Yoga therapy-specific techniques offered to the participants of SVYASA Arogyadhama - an integrative medicine hospital, as part of my MSc Yoga Internship. 

Firstly, it was heartening to note that those who come for treatment procedures are referred to as "participants" and not as "patients".

The experience was eye-opening in many ways. 

As I was reading through various case files and summaries, stress and disturbed sleep emerged as a common pattern among many participants with ailments such as obesity, hypertension, GERD, urticaria, etc. They were neither smoking nor drinking alcohol. 

We often hear about how the quality of life deteriorates with non-communicable diseases such as diabetes, asthma, high BP, etc. It was also devastating to see participants diagnosed with Parkinson's disease and the inability to do basic movements by the participant (and the impact on his/her caretaker). While conducting the Pranayama class, I noticed how the wife of a participant with Parkinson's disease was using her hands to press the nostrils of her husband so that he could experience the passive practice of Nadi Shuddhi Pranayama (alternate nostril breathing).

Simple practices done consistently over time yield major improvements in our overall health. For eg, 9 rounds of deep breathing can help clear our rush of thoughts. But we succumb to the expectations of our mind that often crave more novel practices. 

Integrative medicine approaches health from multiple perspectives and effectively addresses modern-day ailments. Many people are now realizing the efficacy of the combination of Yoga, Ayurveda, naturopathy, and Siddha. At the same time, there are also so-called medical influencers on social media (backed by funding from vested interests) who blatantly dismiss them, and label them as "pseudo-science".  Modern medicine has a role to play, and so are our ancient medical streams. It is up to us to use our intellect, research, and evaluate what suits our body, mind, and disposition for both preventive as well as treatment of ailments. 

Toxic work culture

 As I read the letter from the grieving mom of Anna (EY Pune), it feels so sad and devastating that the life of a girl with high ambitions and hard work is all lost due to the toxic work culture.

Workplace stress is not only due to long work hours. Toxic work culture shows up in many subtle ways too. It not only pushes the junior-level employees but also expects mid-senior level employees to get work done from the team and meet unrealistic targets.

A few incidents from the past left a deep mark and made me question if it was worth the mental anxiety and stress, although I loved my role in product management.

• When I was asked to push a designer and force a tight deadline on him to get the designs ready
• When I was questioned as a manager how I granted work-from-home permission for many days to a subordinate recovering from surgery
• When I remembered the false promises made during hiring - "We are very flexible, our employees are distributed all over the world and we encourage work from home" only to realize that after a few months, the rule was changed overnight due to the founder's sudden whims. Everyone was informed that they needed to work from the office location. People (with ailing family members) were forced to relocate from other states in a matter of weeks.
• Blatant bullying by peers with egoistic attitudes (wrote about it earlier)
• The feud among the leaders of a startup resulting in conflicting boundaries - the CEO wants a dedicated product head, whereas the business head who was driving the product initiatives so far wouldn't want to let go of his product privilege and create roadblocks in various forms to the new product person who has come onboard.
• Ethical dilemmas and compromises - data manipulation, setting a narrative in such a way that customers make purchase decisions (extending their contract, buying new product licenses, etc) from a place of fear rather than offering any real value-add.

Book Review: Yoga Sutras Simplified by Vasudev Murthy

 Maharishi Patanjali's Yoga Sutras (PYS) dive into the psychology of the human mind. It is one of the most important texts for a Yoga Sadhaka / practitioner. Many have written translations and commentaries on this text. I bought the book "Yoga Sutras Simplified" by Vasudev Murthy in May 2023 (before I signed up for my Yoga instructor course and MSc Yoga), but never got around to reading it. 

In the past year, I got the opportunity to learn the essence of Yoga Sutras from various sources. Given that PYS is one of the subjects in my current semester, I picked up this book recently. 

The author says in the Introduction - "The Yoga Sutras analyse the fickle mind in extraordinary detail and ought to be required reading for psychologists!". I couldn't agree more. He has provided the gist of all 4 chapters, covering the key takeaways.

The author has approached this book neither as a translation nor a typical commentary. He has given a refreshing take by interweaving the core principles behind certain sutras and his experiences and reflections. The writing style is simple and lucid, with clear explanations of the concepts, especially on vrittis, kleshas, types of samadhis, yamas and niyamas, samyama, etc. He has also connected certain ideas with music-based examples, given his background in music. 

Here are a few of my favorite lines:

Indifference to the results of knowledge is the highest form of dispassion.

A mind that soaks in all manners of disturbances under various guises is a mind that will never actually find peace and purpose.

Sorrow arrives disguised as transient pleasure.

A person's temperament affects the temperament of everyone around!

If the mind is agitated, bodily balance is unachievable.

What is "rational" depends on your framework of knowledge. You may not know what you do not know.

This is a beginner-friendly book that will inspire one to pick up the main text and read more elaborate commentaries by other authors.

3 months of "no social media"

 It's exactly 3 months since I quit Instagram, a platform where I had been an active content creator for nearly 10 years. I also briefly returned to Twitter as a passive content consumer when the election fever in India was at its peak. After the election results, I deactivated the account. So technically, I've been off social media over the last 3 months (not counting WhatsApp and YouTube as social media platforms!).

I have already listed down my reasons for quitting Instagram, so I don't intend to repeat them in this post.

As I ponder over the last 3 months regarding what has changed, what I missed, and what I'm grateful for, a few thoughts surfaced.

What I miss:

Interesting and stimulating conversations, chit-chats, and comments from friends I made on Instagram. Though some of them are in touch through WhatsApp, it doesn't quite feel the same.

What has changed:

I continue to write on my blog whenever inspiration strikes but without the need to customize/edit it for the sake of Instagram.

Also, there used to be a silent reminder running in my mind whenever I didn't post frequently on Instagram. I don't get that nagging feeling anymore. 

When posting on Instagram, subconsciously I would end up checking for comments/DMs often. I often wondered if it was for the sake of validation or approval.

I used to get affected by influencers who lead extreme lifestyles and build businesses by capitalizing on people's FOMO and promising tall claims. I now protect my mental peace by staying away from their content.

The biggest change - a lot more time has opened up which I'm putting to productive use in learning Yoga philosophy, Bhagavad Gita, and Ayurveda, and towards my self-care practices.

What I'm grateful for:

On the day of Krishna Jayanti and Ganesh Chaturti celebrations, I reminisced the festive days on Instagram where we - food content creators - would share our pics of the special menu and recipes. It used to be so inspiring to see the efforts and I used to look forward to sharing pics of my festival special preparations. Though I came out of Instagram, the motivation is now intact and I celebrated the festive occasions this year without posting any pics on social media.

Instagram had been a huge motivating factor in my cooking experiments - trials and successes, trying new recipes and venturing into traditional dishes that take time and effort. It used to be a happy place back in 2017-19 when it was all about images and content. The "reels" trend changed the total ethos of the platform. 

Only when we close the doors that no longer work for us, new doors will open up.

Gratitude to our body

 Consider this scenario - while walking on an uneven road, you twisted your right leg all of a sudden and ended up with a ligament tear. For the next few days, you found it difficult to walk as you underwent treatments and took medications. You slowly recover and get back to walking comfortably. It feels so good to keep both your feet firmly on the ground. You feel happy and grateful that you can walk fine without any issues.

Strangely, we don't feel the same gratitude when our body functions well and stays healthy. We take it for granted and abuse it in all possible ways - overeating, eating at the wrong time, lack of movement, compromising sleep and binge-watching TV series late in the night, etc.

Many of us feel that exercise (in any form) is something we HAVE to do. It is a chore to complete, an item on the to-do list to check first thing in the morning.

What is needed is a shift in perspective -

being grateful that our body is flexible and has stamina and strength,

thanking our body when we can

• do 6 rounds of Suryanamaskar
• climb 5 flights of stairs
• run 2 km
• bend forward into Padahastasana pose
• sit down on the floor and get up comfortably
• stand for an hour without any lower back ache

If we consider such abilities as privileges we have been bestowed with, we will treat our bodies with a lot more love and care.

The Information Sieve

 Movies, web series, podcasts, videos by social media influencers, interviews, books, tweets - any form of mass media of today comes with its motive or agenda. Gone are the times when we watch a movie or a series for the sheer entertainment value. Whenever I see a post of an influencer on social media, I find myself asking - "What is this person's motive? What is the narrative he is trying to convey? Is he part of a  toolkit?"

A movement promoting a raw vegan lifestyle in the name of "satvic" has an agenda. Someone who concocts masala in a lab also has an agenda when he says - Without processed foods, human life will perish from the planet.

Narratives peddled on social media are deliberately coercing ordinary people to turn their attention toward the direction the peddler(s) want them to. 

Which piece of content / news should one read / hear about?

How long should it stay in one's mind? 

What is the reaction one's mind should have?

What is the belief system that one should question or challenge?

What is the new belief system that needs to be implanted?

What aspects of personality need to be impacted?

Everything is programmed to a large extent IF we allow ourselves to. Based on one's reactions and further actions, one gets grouped into different identity groups. Without our knowledge or awareness, we get bucketed into these groups and are fed more thoughts and patterns to substantiate our belief that we belong to such a group.

While machines are learning and becoming intelligent, we - the human species - are programmed every minute we are digitally connected. 

In such times, it is all the more important to strengthen and empower our intellect and cultivate our unique paradigm of thinking, framing, and questioning narratives and motives. It doesn't mean we mistrust everyone. All we need is an information sieve to filter and control the information coming our way and a deep Shraddha (conviction/faith) in Nature/Intuition/Supreme.

Bullying and the reasons behind it

 Bullying happens not only in high school corridors but also in corporate offices and meeting rooms. One can notice various direct and subtle forms of bullying:

• overriding someone's decisions
• canceling meetings at the last minute or showing up late on purpose
• interrupting when someone is talking
• Not coming prepared for a key meeting called by a peer, not going through the relevant documents that were shared before the meeting - done intentionally to assert a certain "attitude" and not due to lack of time
• Power struggle with peers by executing deliberate tactics to derail the efforts of others

Why does a bully behave a certain way?

• Feeling of insecurity or worry that a peer might take on a more influential role than him
• Marking territory - A well-entrenched person in the organization might want to claim authority over a new peer who might have more relevant experience than him
• Grabbing important decisions by intruding into another's role - especially happens when roles and responsibilities aren't clearly defined and communicated.
• Has certain inherent biases and attitudes, deep in his psyche, especially based on gender, location, or educational background

Underlying these four reasons is that single main reason - "A sense of "I" or deep identification with one's title/role".

This strong identification makes one feel threatened and insecure that they resort to such bullying behaviors.

When we detach ourselves from such strong identifications, the workplace becomes a collaborative place where everyone can focus on their respective jobs, thereby contributing to increased productivity.

Most of the time, people quit not because the work is challenging but because they are on the receiving end of such bullies and unable to retaliate. This can happen at any level - junior, mid, or senior level.

The Ferris Wheel of Life

 Let's revisit our experience riding on a Ferris Wheel (or Giant Wheel, as some of us call it!). As our wagon in the Wheel slowly reaches the top, we get a spectacular view of our city - the distant buildings, water bodies, moving cars, people, various lanes, and narrow streets. As the wheel comes down, we feel an uncomfortable churning in our stomach. 

We look forward to going up to the top in the second round as it feels good to get the larger picture. The operator decides to stop the Wheel for more people to get on board. We feel happy if our wagon is the one that is stationary on top during this boarding process. Some of us might appreciate the view, some might get distracted looking at the people climbing the wagon and some might get irritated if the wagon stops.

Our daily life gives us opportunities to get on a similar Ferriss Wheel - to grasp the big picture view of our life. 

Where am I in this whole scheme of things?

What else is there in my world? 

Is there something beyond my perception?

Am I missing to see something because of my extremely busy schedule?

Initially, we might resist getting on board this Ferris Wheel, due to our busy lifestyles and auto-pilot routines. Life keeps moving on without any deep reflection or questioning.

Once we step on this Ferris Wheel of Life, it takes us to the top view. We start to appreciate the broader picture and the various possibilities. We start to gain more clarity about ourselves and the world around us. 

As we come down to our regular ways, we yearn to go back up to get the big-picture view more often.

Meditation, slowing down, journaling, reading, gaining wisdom from scriptures, chanting, going for a contemplative walk without any distractions, mindful offline active hobbies (cooking, gardening, painting), do-nothing moments - these are the Ferris Wheels of Life. 

Let's make time to ride at least 1-2 such Wheels every day to get that big-picture view of our lives.  Our employers, organizations or society may or may not care about whether we have time for this important activity. As long as we run in Autopilot mode, it is profitable for various businesses and the economy. Being on Auto-pilot also seems easy for us though it may not give us contentment. But for our self-evolution, it is our responsibility to prioritize getting the big-picture view of life.

Karma to Vasana - the journey

 A 10-year-old boy meets a hungry stray cat. He feels sorry and asks his parents to get cat food to feed her. They buy him a small packet of food, and he happily feeds and plays with the cat. The cat responds with a soft purr and acknowledges the kid for his kind act. The action performed is karma.

The same boy often sees the stray cat in his vicinity and continues to feed her. This has become a daily activity, and the boy feeds the cat and plays with her for some time. The habit formed is samskara.

The boy grows up and travels a lot around the country. Whenever he sees a stray cat, he tries to give some food and pet him/her. Strangely enough, wherever he travels, he stumbles upon a stray cat on the road. It feels like there is an attraction or an energy that brings him and the cat together. The constant engagement with this habit has now turned into his tendency or vasana.

This vasana continues with him for the rest of his life. The more he engages with it, the more likely he will carry this tendency forward to his next life.

Every karma we do has the likelihood of turning into a vasana. 

Vasanas are the basis of our unconscious responses. Vasanas are the foundation based on which our consciousness gets conditioned. 

Let's be mindful of our habits and pay more attention to the ones that affect our physical and mental health - smoking, alcohol, binge-watching TV, addictions, excess social media, overeating, excess shopping, overindulging our senses, hoarding stuff, anger, rage, etc. They not only deteriorate the quality of our present life but also have the potential to be carried forward to subsequent lives with more intensity.

Book Review: The Fall of the Human Intellect by A. Parthasarathy

 "The Fall of the Human Intellect" by Shri Parthasarathy ji is a crisp and short book of 140 pages, and it took me almost 3 months to finish. This is such a kind of book that needs time to contemplate and reflect upon the points discussed. More importantly, given its condensed nature, it requires deeper explanation and analogies to connect to the topics. 

I'm grateful to YouTube for bringing this book and Vedanta Academy to my attention. I signed up for the book discussion sessions organized by Vedanta Institute Kolkata. The weekly sessions conducted by Ramaswamy ji have been insightful with beautiful explanations and correlations drawn based on the topics from the book. He brings in a lot of clarity through references from scriptures and personal anecdotes.

Thanks to the YouTube recommendation algorithm, I came across Vedanta Institute London's channel where the recordings of the book discussion sessions conducted by Bhaskar ji are uploaded every week. Bhaskar ji articulates the topics so well with easy-to-relate examples and powerful one-liners. I look forward to his lecture every Tue morning and jot down detailed notes.

The book reading experience, aptly supported by lectures from two scholars of Vedanta, has helped me understand the topic of "Intellect", factors that have led to its deterioration, and the impact we are facing because of its downfall - both from an individual and society point of view, and ways to develop one's intellect.

From the point of view of the book, the author has provided convincing arguments on the derangement of our intellect and why it is an important problem to address in our society. He sets the foundation by explaining how our Self expresses itself through multiple roles, resulting in various personalities. He then takes us on a journey to help us understand how the mind wreaks havoc when not governed by the intellect. Our likes/dislikes, desires, and anxieties take precedence, leading to attachment and bondage. 

Intellect plays a vital role in looking at life objectively, in thinking, deciding, and making life choices, and in the way we relate to the world. There are too many valuable takeaways in the chapters that stress the role of intellect. For eg, the author talks about the lack of individual assessment in humans. We bucket ourselves into groups and judge our character and personality based on the group(s) we belong to. This is similar to how we name all tigers as aggressive. The author argues that each individual has a unique fingerprint of vasanas or tendencies and every human helplessly manifests his own nature.

The differences between mind and intellect, intelligence and intellect, knowledge and wisdom are well explained. 

The language is simple and easy to understand without any complex jargon. He has also used multiple references (poems and stories) from English literature to drive home certain key points. I so wish this book was more descriptive as the topics discussed need more coverage and detailing.

A few of my favorite phrases:

"Unrestricted indulgence kills the enjoyment that you seek".

"One needs an intellect to notice the absence of intellect."

"Concentration is the technique exercised by the intellect to hold the mind on the present occupation without allowing it to slip into the past or future".

"Knowledge has to be drawn out of students. Not thrust into them".

"A person possessing a strong intellect acts cautiously to keep his desires contained within the wealth acquired".

The learnings and takeaways from this book can be greatly enhanced if you sign up for the book discussion sessions organized by Vedanta Academy in various cities/countries, along with reading the book at a slow pace.

Scriptural knowledge and its arrival in one's life

 I'm like that "Gadha" mentioned by Rancho in the movie - 3 idiots. I did my Computer Science Engineering, followed it up with 5 years of work experience in programming, then did an MBA, followed it up with 10+ years of work experience in product management, and am now pursuing an M.Sc. in Yoga.

I'm not ashamed of being a "Gadha"! 

I believe that it is a natural process of discovering our true potential and interests. Not everyone (like Rancho) will have the clarity to pursue Engineering at the age of 17, just because one loves machines. Even if one does have the clarity, it can be stifled or suppressed by family/financial/societal pressures.

I feel blessed to have the privilege of listening to some amazing lectures on Upanishads, Gita, and Yoga philosophy in my present course. I'm grateful that this knowledge is coming to me, at least in my early 40s and not in my 60s/70s. 

I see many students in their mid-20s in my batch who are receiving this knowledge. They are quite blessed to get such guidance at a young age. But the pressures of managing a career, job, course exams and other family responsibilities tend to make them deprioritize the real value of learning and instead, focus on studying for the sake of clearing the exams. It felt disheartening to hear this comment from a fellow student - "Why should we carry home the 1st-semester books after the exams? Wish I could just leave them back at the campus".

As I go deeper into the Upanishads, I'm sure I'll want to revisit the concepts I learned in the course by referring to the learning material.

Exams are not the be-all and end-all of learning a subject. Somehow, our system has ingrained this thought due to the excess importance given to grades/marks.

I understand that one needs to reach a certain level of maturity and life experience to realize the value of scriptural wisdom. But when one is given the opportunity to gain this wisdom at a young age, they are truly blessed and when this fact is recognized, it makes a huge difference in our approach to learning.

Relaxation and taking breaks

 The last few weeks have been hectic - preparing for exams, attending practicals classes, writing/editing the last few chapters of a new book, K traveling, and D falling sick in the same week, preparing and delivering a session on packaged and traditional foods, along with the regular household responsibilities. 

I usually sit on the sofa, stretch my legs, and watch a movie whenever I want to relax, typically in the evenings. Our kitty W loves to cuddle on my lap while I watch TV. It is our usual bonding routine! 

She noticed I had not been watching TV in the past few weeks. She was getting restless one evening and started shouting so much. I gave her food, milk, and water. But she didn't touch any of it. The meows persisted, even louder and more demanding. I sat on the sofa and she immediately jumped on me. I then realized that her meows were an order meant for me to sit down. She happily cleaned herself for some time, followed by purring, and cuddling, and slept like a log for the next hour.

Sometimes, we get so entrenched in all our tasks and projects that we don't feel the need to take a break. 

When we enjoy what we do, we don't feel the need to relax in front of the television.

When we loathe what we do, we resort to hours and hours of binge-watching TV to distract our minds from the stress and emotions of mundane work, dealing with egoistic, self-centered people who are part of the workplace.

Consciously making the time to relax is very much essential, irrespective of whether we enjoy our work or not. 

Please note, that "work" in this context implies everything we do in our daily routine. It is NOT limited to what we do at a workplace, for an employer earning a salary in exchange for our skills contribution. Whenever someone differentiates between working moms and stay-at-home moms, I find it a ridiculous comparison, as all moms are working - be it at home or in an external office premise. This topic needs a separate post and I shall pen it down later.

We choose to relax in our preferred ways. What I find relaxing may not be relaxing for another. For eg, my daughter loves to sing and she ends up singing for close to an hour. When we both play Antakshari, I feel exhausted after 20-25 minutes. I love to be engrossed in a non-fiction book for a couple of hours, but someone else might find it more tedious than relaxing. 

As with everything else, it is up to us to figure out our preferred ways to relax and not emulate what works for someone else.

The journey and the need for an expert

 Let's say one wants to go from point X to point Y.

Person A seems to know the route from X to Y. Or he is confident of figuring it out by himself using resources like a compass, a physical map, or Google Maps. He believes that the whole process of figuring out the route is more interesting and doesn't mind spending his time/effort on this process.

Person B prefers to be handheld by someone who is an expert in this route. He doesn't want to struggle independently and would rather rely on the expert's guidance. He believes that reaching point Y is the goal and if someone can assure to take us there, it is okay to take their help in exchange for a fee.

The perspectives and experiences gathered by these two persons will be quite different in their respective journeys. One cannot judge their choices - be it a self-relying or an expert-relying approach.

One cannot judge the "need" of an expert who offers such services for a fee as there are takers for such experts' guidance.

As long as the expert delivers on the promise made to Person B in reaching the destination, it is all fair and good.

In some cases, the expert promises Person B to take him to destination Y. In the end, Person B realizes he is nowhere close to Y and has ended up at a distant point Z. It is now up to Person B to unlearn the route, trace back his steps, and figure out an alternate route, leading to more distress and uncertainty. The expert ends up fooling more such people and making huge profits in this bargain.

What does the route X=>Y entail? What is this journey for? Is it

• to learn a new skill,
• to learn a new subject,
• to get a new perspective,
• to pursue a goal,
• to accomplish something,
• to gain knowledge,
• to identify our areas of improvement,
• to work on our areas of improvement,
• to grow in our material/spiritual pursuit?

As long as the journey and the end goal are concrete and can be articulated clearly, it is easier to find the right expert to help us on this path. For eg, if my X=>Y journey is to learn swimming in 3 months, I would seek the service of a swimming coach who has the experience and expertise. We would work out a plan together to achieve this goal.

Many times, we don't have the clarity in us about our journey and end goal. Without that clarity, if we try to seek an expert, there are high chances we might end up falling into the trap of self-proclaimed, fake gurus.

Are our goals truly ours?

Are our goals decided due to peer pressure?

Why do we even want to move from point X to point Y?

What's missing in point X?

What do we expect to gain at point Y?

What sort of hurdles do we expect to face in this journey of X=>Y?

Let's gain absolute clarity on these questions before we proceed with getting an expert's guidance.