One extreme used to say, "Others' feelings are more important than mine",while the other extreme is now loudly declaring, "My feelings are the most important. I don't care about how others feel".
As always, extremes are the reason behind many problems today. Parents are misguided by the so-called parenting Insta experts to be on their guard and keep track of every single feeling and emotion of their child. "So how does that make you feel?" - a therapist-sounding question has now become common parlance among young parents, thanks to "gentle parenting" forums and workshops.
"Bad Therapy - Why the Kids aren't Growing Up" by Abigail Shrier is a much-needed book that gives an important perspective on modern-day parenting. She reiterates multiple times throughout the book that there are certain conditions (bipolar, schizophrenia, chronic depression, etc), where therapy is required and she doesn't deny the value it brings to the table. However, she also points out how it is being misused and the repercussions of it, especially among teenagers.
Though the context and examples are set in the US, urban Indian parents can relate to many of the issues discussed. It was eye-opening (and shocking!) to read about the diagnosis and treatment protocols that are prescribed under the pretext of mental health. Though the title focuses on "therapy", the author provides how the entire ecosystem has been incentivized - schools, therapists, counselors, parenting "gurus" - to quickly diagnose, label and medicate young children and teens.
She brings up the issue of iatrogenesis - how therapy can make things worse and lists down ten indicators of Bad Therapy with relevant examples. These indicators are evident in the content strategy of many Insta-only psychologists who mint money through expensive courses and workshops.
In this age of social media, she points out the trend to use mental issues as a conversation piece among certain people, in return to gain sympathy and attention and to create an identity with the diagnoses.
The chapters on surveys bring up the negative repercussions of assessments that hunt for data related to mental health and implant new ideas and concerns in the minds of middle and high-school children, which are being circulated in public schools. The author also brings up the issues behind the gentle parenting trend that prevents kids from building resilience and functioning in a community, expecting accommodation and seeking avoidance when a challenge comes forth.
A must-read book for parents. Mental health ailments are supposedly the new pandemic and there is a thriving ecosystem that is pushing this agenda big time among children and teenagers.
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