Bullying and the reasons behind it

 Bullying happens not only in high school corridors but also in corporate offices and meeting rooms. One can notice various direct and subtle forms of bullying:

• overriding someone's decisions
• canceling meetings at the last minute or showing up late on purpose
• interrupting when someone is talking
• Not coming prepared for a key meeting called by a peer, not going through the relevant documents that were shared before the meeting - done intentionally to assert a certain "attitude" and not due to lack of time
• Power struggle with peers by executing deliberate tactics to derail the efforts of others

Why does a bully behave a certain way?

• Feeling of insecurity or worry that a peer might take on a more influential role than him
• Marking territory - A well-entrenched person in the organization might want to claim authority over a new peer who might have more relevant experience than him
• Grabbing important decisions by intruding into another's role - especially happens when roles and responsibilities aren't clearly defined and communicated.
• Has certain inherent biases and attitudes, deep in his psyche, especially based on gender, location, or educational background

Underlying these four reasons is that single main reason - "A sense of "I" or deep identification with one's title/role".

This strong identification makes one feel threatened and insecure that they resort to such bullying behaviors.

When we detach ourselves from such strong identifications, the workplace becomes a collaborative place where everyone can focus on their respective jobs, thereby contributing to increased productivity.

Most of the time, people quit not because the work is challenging but because they are on the receiving end of such bullies and unable to retaliate. This can happen at any level - junior, mid, or senior level.

The Ferris Wheel of Life

 Let's revisit our experience riding on a Ferris Wheel (or Giant Wheel, as some of us call it!). As our wagon in the Wheel slowly reaches the top, we get a spectacular view of our city - the distant buildings, water bodies, moving cars, people, various lanes, and narrow streets. As the wheel comes down, we feel an uncomfortable churning in our stomach. 

We look forward to going up to the top in the second round as it feels good to get the larger picture. The operator decides to stop the Wheel for more people to get on board. We feel happy if our wagon is the one that is stationary on top during this boarding process. Some of us might appreciate the view, some might get distracted looking at the people climbing the wagon and some might get irritated if the wagon stops.

Our daily life gives us opportunities to get on a similar Ferriss Wheel - to grasp the big picture view of our life. 

Where am I in this whole scheme of things?

What else is there in my world? 

Is there something beyond my perception?

Am I missing to see something because of my extremely busy schedule?

Initially, we might resist getting on board this Ferris Wheel, due to our busy lifestyles and auto-pilot routines. Life keeps moving on without any deep reflection or questioning.

Once we step on this Ferris Wheel of Life, it takes us to the top view. We start to appreciate the broader picture and the various possibilities. We start to gain more clarity about ourselves and the world around us. 

As we come down to our regular ways, we yearn to go back up to get the big-picture view more often.

Meditation, slowing down, journaling, reading, gaining wisdom from scriptures, chanting, going for a contemplative walk without any distractions, mindful offline active hobbies (cooking, gardening, painting), do-nothing moments - these are the Ferris Wheels of Life. 

Let's make time to ride at least 1-2 such Wheels every day to get that big-picture view of our lives.  Our employers, organizations or society may or may not care about whether we have time for this important activity. As long as we run in Autopilot mode, it is profitable for various businesses and the economy. Being on Auto-pilot also seems easy for us though it may not give us contentment. But for our self-evolution, it is our responsibility to prioritize getting the big-picture view of life.

Karma to Vasana - the journey

 A 10-year-old boy meets a hungry stray cat. He feels sorry and asks his parents to get cat food to feed her. They buy him a small packet of food, and he happily feeds and plays with the cat. The cat responds with a soft purr and acknowledges the kid for his kind act. The action performed is karma.

The same boy often sees the stray cat in his vicinity and continues to feed her. This has become a daily activity, and the boy feeds the cat and plays with her for some time. The habit formed is samskara.

The boy grows up and travels a lot around the country. Whenever he sees a stray cat, he tries to give some food and pet him/her. Strangely enough, wherever he travels, he stumbles upon a stray cat on the road. It feels like there is an attraction or an energy that brings him and the cat together. The constant engagement with this habit has now turned into his tendency or vasana.

This vasana continues with him for the rest of his life. The more he engages with it, the more likely he will carry this tendency forward to his next life.

Every karma we do has the likelihood of turning into a vasana. 

Vasanas are the basis of our unconscious responses. Vasanas are the foundation based on which our consciousness gets conditioned. 

Let's be mindful of our habits and pay more attention to the ones that affect our physical and mental health - smoking, alcohol, binge-watching TV, addictions, excess social media, overeating, excess shopping, overindulging our senses, hoarding stuff, anger, rage, etc. They not only deteriorate the quality of our present life but also have the potential to be carried forward to subsequent lives with more intensity.

Book Review: The Fall of the Human Intellect by A. Parthasarathy

 "The Fall of the Human Intellect" by Shri Parthasarathy ji is a crisp and short book of 140 pages, and it took me almost 3 months to finish. This is such a kind of book that needs time to contemplate and reflect upon the points discussed. More importantly, given its condensed nature, it requires deeper explanation and analogies to connect to the topics. 

I'm grateful to YouTube for bringing this book and Vedanta Academy to my attention. I signed up for the book discussion sessions organized by Vedanta Institute Kolkata. The weekly sessions conducted by Ramaswamy ji have been insightful with beautiful explanations and correlations drawn based on the topics from the book. He brings in a lot of clarity through references from scriptures and personal anecdotes.

Thanks to the YouTube recommendation algorithm, I came across Vedanta Institute London's channel where the recordings of the book discussion sessions conducted by Bhaskar ji are uploaded every week. Bhaskar ji articulates the topics so well with easy-to-relate examples and powerful one-liners. I look forward to his lecture every Tue morning and jot down detailed notes.

The book reading experience, aptly supported by lectures from two scholars of Vedanta, has helped me understand the topic of "Intellect", factors that have led to its deterioration, and the impact we are facing because of its downfall - both from an individual and society point of view, and ways to develop one's intellect.

From the point of view of the book, the author has provided convincing arguments on the derangement of our intellect and why it is an important problem to address in our society. He sets the foundation by explaining how our Self expresses itself through multiple roles, resulting in various personalities. He then takes us on a journey to help us understand how the mind wreaks havoc when not governed by the intellect. Our likes/dislikes, desires, and anxieties take precedence, leading to attachment and bondage. 

Intellect plays a vital role in looking at life objectively, in thinking, deciding, and making life choices, and in the way we relate to the world. There are too many valuable takeaways in the chapters that stress the role of intellect. For eg, the author talks about the lack of individual assessment in humans. We bucket ourselves into groups and judge our character and personality based on the group(s) we belong to. This is similar to how we name all tigers as aggressive. The author argues that each individual has a unique fingerprint of vasanas or tendencies and every human helplessly manifests his own nature.

The differences between mind and intellect, intelligence and intellect, knowledge and wisdom are well explained. 

The language is simple and easy to understand without any complex jargon. He has also used multiple references (poems and stories) from English literature to drive home certain key points. I so wish this book was more descriptive as the topics discussed need more coverage and detailing.

A few of my favorite phrases:

"Unrestricted indulgence kills the enjoyment that you seek".

"One needs an intellect to notice the absence of intellect."

"Concentration is the technique exercised by the intellect to hold the mind on the present occupation without allowing it to slip into the past or future".

"Knowledge has to be drawn out of students. Not thrust into them".

"A person possessing a strong intellect acts cautiously to keep his desires contained within the wealth acquired".

The learnings and takeaways from this book can be greatly enhanced if you sign up for the book discussion sessions organized by Vedanta Academy in various cities/countries, along with reading the book at a slow pace.