A couple of years ago, I attended a workshop, that focused on self-improvement across various facets of life. At the end of most sessions, it just gave a sense of overwhelm, sometimes to the point of guilt and shame for the choices made so far. The strategies being advocated were also on the extremes, leaving the audience with the thought, "Oh, I have to do so much to improve my life".
As I wondered why there is such a big demand for self-improvement - be it books, spiritual gurus, influencers, thought leaders, etc, there were many reasons that popped up:
- Lack of self-acceptance
- Unhappy with the current status quo
- Comparison with others
- Peer pressure / Social influence
- Action-oriented mindset, seeking change
While reading J Krishnamurti's books, the answer became more clear. His words were so profound that hit the nail right on the head. Here are a few of his thought-provoking lines:
"We do not know the significance of life as long as we are copying, imitating, following."
"The primary cause of disorder in ourselves is the seeking of reality promised by another; we mechanically follow somebody who will assure us a comfortable spiritual life."
"If I am all the time measuring myself against you, struggling to be like you, then I am denying what I am myself."
"We are always comparing what we are with what we should be. The should-be is a projection of what we think we ought to be."
"When you accept that you are what you are, where is the problem? There is a problem only when we do not accept a thing as it is and wish to transform it."
Each of us is unique - our thoughts, our life circumstances, our experiences so far, our conditioning, our beliefs, our values, our environment, our family, and much more. Then why do we seek a template from others on how to live our lives?
When we have enough self-love and self-acceptance, it would lead to the following - a strong sense of trust in ourselves, a graceful practice of self-awareness, along with patience and confidence that the Universe will guide us in the right direction.
Seeking inspiration from others is fine as long as it doesn't come in the way of discovering ourselves - our unique nature and our Truth.