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Jul 23, 2020

Dealing with dull days

 
I had stepped out to the terrace last evening to witness the Neowise comet. Though I couldn't spot the comet thanks to cloudy evening in Bengaluru, I spent an hour on the terrace, admiring the crescent moon, spotting Jupiter and stars. It felt so good. What made me happier is the sight of moving vehicles on the main road. I never thought I would feel this way about traffic. 

It's been almost 5 months since the lockdown started in March. After the initial chaos and confusion, days seem to be whizzing past by. Some of the days are happy, peaceful and filled with gratitude, while others leave me with a mixed bag of emotions. I worry about Appa who is managing by himself in a different city during these times. I wish I could have brought him here to my home in March. But then I tell myself, "I should just trust life and not worry about things which are not in my control".

My project with a startup got stalled, thanks to COVID. As a result, my contract got canceled in May. I didn't try exploring other opportunities, given the other responsibilities in the home front. For the past 2 months, I have been trying to make myself useful through my blog posts and workshops. There have been mornings when I wake up, buzzing with ideas and inspiration. But there have also been mornings when I just don't feel like waking up. No ideas, no inspiration, just feeling dull and monotonous. One such morning was today. I went for a walk on the terrace for 30 minutes to cheer my mood. Though it helped a bit, I didn't feel like I was my usual self. 

While cooking lunch, I played the soundtrack of Dil Bechara in the background. Such a beautiful album with a tinge of melancholy from AR Rahman. Just like any other ARR album, this one grows on you after 2-3 listens. Loving it!!

After eating lunch, I just lied down and accepted the fact that it is okay if I don't have a productive day. Maybe, my body and mind want to just do nothing. 

The list below is just for my own reference, so I can come back to it on days when I feel dull and uninspired.
  • Listen to music
  • Go for a walk, Get some sunshine
  • Have a bath before 10AM
  • Enjoy an extra cup of chai or coffee without any guilt
  • Take a short afternoon nap
  • Practice deep breathing for 5 minutes
  • Watch your favorite stand-up comedy or Goundamani Senthil comedy clips
  • Accept that there will be days when you aren't inspired to do anything