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Apr 24, 2019

Conversations vs Connections


Ever since I read Cal Newport's Digital minimalism, I have reduced my phone usage drastically. For the past 10 days, my usage is less than an hour per day, which is a significant reduction compared to my earlier usage of 3-4 hours. One of the most important takeaways from this book for me is that we have replaced real conversations with short bursts of interaction happening in social media. And the worst part is that we think this substitution is equal and we seem to be okay with it. I have been making this mistake and it felt like quite a revelation while reading the chapter on conversations vs connections.

As I sit quietly and contemplate, the reason why I'm active on Instagram is not that I like the "hearts" or I want more followers. Either of them doesn't motivate me to post or check my phone frequently. What I have realized is that I CRAVE for conversations. I get excited to see comments on my posts or DMs. In a typical day, I have most of my real conversations with my 7-year old daughter. There is hardly any opportunity to have deep conversations with my husband on a daily basis as work takes away most of his time.

When I used to go to a full-time job a few years back, there have been many opportunities of having deep conversations with colleagues, though mostly related to work. This is also one of the key factors that is pushing me to opt for a work-from-office role next instead of a work-from-home role. I'm HOPING to meet a few like-minded people and share meaningful conversations on topics I care about. Those topics definitely aren't about fancy cars, abroad trips, latest gadgets, investments, buying retirement homes, Keto diet, new fancy pubs/eateries in Bangalore etc. In one of my last work assignments, these were the common topics of discussion around the lunch table. I would sit there, feeling utterly bored.

What are the topics I care about, you might ask? Here's my list in no particular order:
Climate change
Zero-waste lifestyle
Mindfulness
Minimalism
Organic gardening
Non-fiction Books
Continuous learning
Productivity
Power of deep work and focus
Spirituality
Ethics and values in work
Nutrition, healthy eating but with unpopular opinions (No calorie counting, macros counting or any diet focused)
Traditional cuisines, embracing local produce
Mental wellness
Positive psychology
Yoga and meditation
Energy/prana and its role in healing
Do more with less
Behavioral psychology
Motivation theories - why we do what we do
Parenting - child nutrition, inculcating values
Music
Passive Income Generation
Results-oriented workplace
Technology that elevates people's lives

Sending out this note to the universe so I could get to meet people who have similar topics in their list.