Arranged or Love?

The thoughts are my own and not meant to oppose or hurt anyone else's views. So I don't expect a counter argument as a comment :-)

If you wish to oppose, please write an article in your blog.

Here goes my take on Arranged v/s Love marriages.

Arranged marriage query :-

SELECT *
FROM
list_of_eligible_bachelors
WHERE
age > :bride_age -- the bride's age should always be less than the bridegroom
AND bank_balance > :an_exorbitant_amount
AND own_a_house_flag = 'Y'
AND own_a_car_flag = 'Y'
AND exists (SELECT 1 FROM best_horoscopes
WHERE bachelor_id = list_of_eligible_bachelors.bachelor_id)
AND salary > :bride_salary
-- Very important clause, cannot do away with this condition
AND religion = :religion_of_bride
AND caste = :caste_of_bride
AND sub_caste = :subcaste_of_bride
AND ........................ -- Conditions to be added in the subsequent releases

Love marriage query :-

SELECT *
FROM
list_of_eligible_men
WHERE
good_qualities = 'Y'
AND match_tastes = 'Y'
AND ROWNUM < 2

PS : I'm an Oracle application developer :-)

பகல் நேர உளறல்கள் - பாகம் 2

இரவு வரும் வரை
நிலவு காத்திருப்பதில்லை
கால்தடம் வரும் வரை
கடல் அலை காத்திருப்பதில்லை

வண்டு வரும் வரை
பூக்கள் காத்திருப்பதில்லை
காதல் வரும் வரை
கனவு காத்திருப்பதில்லை

ஆதவன் வரும் வரை
பறவை காத்திருப்பதில்லை
ஆசை வரும் வரை
கடிகாரம் காத்திருப்பதில்லை

வார்த்தை வரும் வரை
பேனா காத்திருப்பதில்லை
வடிவம் வரும் வரை
சிற்பம் காத்திருப்பதில்லை

A rough translation in English

Afternoon ramblings - Part 2

The moon doesn't
wait for the night
The waves doesn't
wait for the footprints

The flowers doesn't
wait for the bee
The dream doesn't
wait for love

The bird doesn't
wait for the sun
The wish doesn't
wait for the clock

The pen doesn't
wait for words
The sculpture doesn't
wait for a shape

பகல் நேர உளறல்கள் - பாகம் 1

கறை இல்லாத நிலவு உண்டா
குறை இல்லாத மனிதன் உண்டா

சிறகு இல்லாத பறவை உண்டா
சிரிப்பு இல்லாத குழந்தை உண்டா

முள் இல்லாத பாதை உண்டா
'செல்' இல்லாத உயிர் உண்டா

கனவு இல்லாத வாழ்க்கை உண்டா
விடியல் இல்லாத இரவு உண்டா

அனுபவம் இல்லாத கவிதை உண்டா
அபிநயம் இல்லாத பரதம் உண்டா

புதுமை இல்லாத புரட்சி உண்டா
பசுமை இல்லாத நாட்கள் உண்டா

A rough translation in English

Afternoon ramblings - Part 1

Is there a moon
without a shade?
Is there a man
without a problem?

Is there a bird
without a wing?
Is there a baby
without a smile?

Is there a path
without a thorn?
Is there a life
without a cell?

Is there a life
without a dream?
Is there a night
without a dawn?

Is there a poem
without an experience?
Is there a dance
without an expression?

Is there a revolution
without a new idea?
Is there a day
without a pleasant feel?

Narayan's Days

RK Narayan's autobiography "My Days" sounds very similar to his novels; touch, feel, words - everything similar. He is no way less naughtier than Swami. His college life is no way less happening than Chandran's. His love for his wife is no way less special than Krishna's.

The roads of Madras with trams and jutka carts, temples of Mylapore, less crowded beach where he takes a stroll engrossed in thoughts, unperturbed by noise - I wish Madras could be the same as explained by Narayan. I came to know that there was a time when four rupees was equivalent to a dollar !

Narayan's words portray his passion for writing and struggles he faced to get his first novel published. The most fascinating thing that stands out in this book is the manner in which he takes the readers through his journey, his pains, his struggles, his family, his publication "Indian Thought" and his dreams using such wonderful anecdotes. Every novel of his is related to his life directly. Inspite of all the discouragement he faced from his family members and humiliation from the society, he has turned out to be a wonderful, simplistic writer.

Though it was a good read, I felt the ending could have been better. It was more abrupt. I agree that logically speaking, an autobiography is not supposed to have an end. But it could have been made more captivating. Anyway, a nice read on a long weekend.

Being Cyrus - An unworthy hype

I learnt that I should never believe in the ratings given by the leading newspapers. A marketing gimmick, it is.
I learnt that I should never really ask for opinion from others before I decide to watch a movie. Opinions differ from person to person.
I learnt that I should never watch such gloomy movies on a weekday evening. My rest of the week gets spoilt.

Nothing much to write about this very hyped movie. A slow paced, predictable series of events. Many actors' potential has been wasted. For instance, Naseeruddin Shah. Such a talented actor he is but has no significant role to play in the film. Dimple Kapadia, the less said, the better. Boman Irani, a good comedian who proved his talent in Munna Bhai is fighting with a dog here and that's supposed to be the humour part of this movie. Hahaha....we laughed not for the comedian but for the director who thinks that Indian audience can laugh for anything.

But we should definitely appreciate the director for taking a dark, gloomy way in an un-Bollywood fashion. Imagine the same story to be directed by the director who prefers to name his movie starting with K. When Saif kills the old man, a background music of 'Aaaaaa' would have been played. When Saif talks to her sister in the last scene, it would have been so emotional with tears flowing out of the movie screens and drenching the audience. When Dimple and Boman were speaking over the phone, it would have been followed by a romantic song with the couple running on Swiss mountains.

Saif has done a commendable job and proved that he can take up serious roles as well apart from his running-behind-girls kind of roles. If you are a serious Saif fan, go and watch "Being Cyrus" but if you are a serious fan of Saif's comedy, avoid watching this dull and boring movie.

A daemon to our kids

You : Madam, are you aware of Child Sexual Abuse and how this can affect your child?
Parent1 : It may not happen to my kid. He is brought up in such a good environment.
CSA happens only with kids from poor socio-economic background.
Parent2 : To my kid? He is a boy. CSA will not affect him in any way.
Parent3 : My kid is just 3 months old. Are you kidding?

These are the possible replies you might get when you talk about to CSA to common people. So many myths spread about CSA everywhere. Thanks to Dream a Dream, we had the privilege of attending one of the informative workshops on CSA yesterday.

The facilitator first introduced us to what falls under child sexual abuse and what are the common myths prevailing in the society. It can happen to any child, irrespective of gender, age or socio-economic background. There could be long term as well as short term effects on the children's well-being depending on the intensity to which they have been abused.

The effects can range from sudden withdrawal from outdoor activities to emotional disturbances to development of new phobias to depression. There are organizations to conduct counselling sessions to bring such children back to their normal lives. But as the old saying says "Prevention is always better than cure".

Awareness and proper education on such issues are the key measures in order to abolish child sexual abuse. The kids have to be educated and given age appropriate information. Bringing awareness among illiterate parents is another important step.

Parents, care takers and volunteers should keep a watch on the kids to recognize any sudden change in their behaviour. Most importantly, parents should believe what their kid says and not shun away the reality. A thorough investigation has to be done in case they suspect any symptoms.

Eliminating CSA and protecting our kids from this daemon is a huge project in itself but we have taken the first step.

By the river Piedra, I sat down and wept

Another gem of a book by Paulo Coelho. I have read his "Alchemist" and "Veronica decides to die" and was very impressed with the way he puts down his thoughts.

This one "By the river...." is a story about Pilar, a young girl who meets his childhood friend and embark on her life changing journey together. There are not many characters in this story which makes the flow simple to understand. Typical of Coelho's works, this book also has interesting messages interspersed at appropriate places along with the storyline.

With due credits to the author, I'm pointing out a few thoughts that made a big impression on me.

"Everyday God gives us the sun - and also one moment in which we have the ability to change everything that makes us unhappy. Everyday we try to pretend that we haven't perceived that moment, that it doesn't exist - that today is the same as yesterday and will be the same as tomorrow. But if people really pay attention to their everyday lives, they will discover that magic moment."

"Pitiful is the person who is afraid of taking risks.Perhaps this person will never be disappointed or disillusioned; perhaps he won't suffer the way people do when they have a dream to follow. But when that person looks back, he will hear his heart saying 'What have you done with the miracles that God planted on your days? What have you done with the talents that God bestowed on you?......"

"The 'Other' is the one who taught me what I should be like, but not what I am. The Other believes that it is our obligation to spend our entire life thinking about how to get our hands on as much money as possible so that we will not die of hunger when we are old..... I am just like everyone else who is enchanted by the mystery of life, who is open to miracles, who experiences joy and enthusiasm for what I do. It's just that the Other, afraid of disappointment, kept me from taking action"

"The adventurous are the ones who had climbed the mountains first, the ones who had found the routes to the top. And their eyes were the first to take in that view. Fortunates are those who take the first steps"

This is the last sentence of the book - "Dreams mean work". Can there be a better ending to a story that talks about the importance of following your dreams and discovering magic moments in life?